How moving to Sydney and joining a Hiking Group transformed my life

Moving to a new country can be daunting, but for one mum from South Africa, joining an outdoor group in Australia changed everything. Her story reveals how taking the leap to join a community of outdoor enthusiasts transformed her life, strengthened her mental well-being and led to some unexpected friendships.

The following is Shelley’s inspiring journey in her own words, shared during our recent interview. From moving to a new country to discovering the joy of outdoor connection, here’s how she found her tribe and transformed her life.

What inspired you to join an outdoor group?

I am a mum of two and we came from South Africa to Australia. And knew very, very few people here. So we arrived. I had no network of kids who were a little bit older, so I didn't meet mums at school and I was a bit lonely. So the first goal for me was to make some friends and have people to meet up with. And the second thing is, in South Africa, we weren't really safe in the areas that we were living in. So I was determined to make the most of Australia and its safety. Being able to walk where you want to, when you want to, with groups or a little bit, even on your own.

So I really wanted to embrace the Australian outdoors because it's safe. It's beautiful. There's wide open spaces, there's fresh air. So that was my second thing, to be able to run in and to walk outdoors. And I wasn't too sure where to start.

How did you find the right group?

I did do a little bit of research. Looked online. Try to find groups in the area. Hadn't really settled on anything. And then a friend of my daughter's mum was a Facebook friend of mine, and I saw that she'd gone for a hike with some friends in the bush nearby. And I just thought, I don't know her very well, but I'm just gonna put myself out there. And I sent her a message and I said, look, I can see you walking with your friends in the area. Next time you're in this area, could I join you, please? Because I don't know the walks, don't know the area. And, you know, it would be a nice introduction for me. And she jumped back and said, of course, you're welcome to join anytime.

She said, it's actually not just my friends that are my friends, but it is an organised group, so we do it quite regularly. And, we would love to have you join us. So she sent me the details, and I think that in a way it gave me a little bit more confidence, because I knew then that I wasn't taking advantage of her friendship too much just yet. And so I joined them, and, I did an introductory sort of, lesson just to kind of see, was I capable?

Did I like it? Once I was settled in. The rest is history. I just fell in love with it.

What were some of the benefits of joining the group?

It gave me so much confidence, when meeting new Australians and people I didn't know because I was able to have something to contribute, a little bit about a country I didn't know a lot about. So I was able to say, I'm part of a group and we did this walk in this forest, and I learnt about this tree, and I saw this plant, and I now know what a Waratah is.

So it gave me a little bit of ammunition and, and cultural confidence to be able to sort of contribute a little bit more with, with people that I was meeting. And that led to other conversations with people because they saw that I was trying to get involved in the area. I was trying to get my head around how the councils work and a whole lot of places, that I was really unfamiliar with.

So that was one of the very first advantage that I saw of having joined this group.

How did the regular meetups impact your mental health?

I honestly believe it has been a lifesaver for me. Walking in nature and being part of a group, and that's sort of that regular commitment and the regularity of it made a massive difference for me.

So when we first came, I was working really, really hard, really long hours. I was so stressed and so wound up. And, I used to sometimes really struggle to make these sessions, but you've committed to it and people are waiting for you, and they know how many people are coming. So you've got to get there. And I'd be, like, screeching.

And at the last minute they knew I was like changing in the car. I'd be thinking, oh, well, if you want to have a look in here, just go right ahead because I don't have time for you. And I'd whip on my bra and change gear. I was always, like, trying to put my shoelaces on as we were walking.

And I'd be thinking, oh, Shelley. Like this is just, it's too much if, like, you know, this isn't worth it. But honestly, within five minutes I'd be thinking I'd forgotten all about work. I'd be so wound up about all the problems and the issues and what I had to do. But you have to concentrate on where you walking, especially at night. And if you've got a head torch, you sometimes walking single file, sometimes you can go two next to each other, but you've got to focus.

So it took me out of my work and gave me a mental headspace to just be back in the now.

I'm back in the present, and there's a lot of women there who are so in tune with nature. So they'd be like, look at this caterpillar! Or listen to the owl, and then suddenly you tune out of your head and you tune into what's around you. And then sometimes there's just silence and you just, you can enjoy it, and suddenly you're not thinking about work at all. And when you are chatting, it's with people who have got different life experiences, different things going on.

You get better perspectives because suddenly your troubles don't seem so hectic. People sometimes just need to offload that. I need you to fix it. And it's not even always as bad. But the minute you say that, you just have a relief like a release so that mentally often if I was frustrated about something at home or whatever, you just say it to people who don't know you and your personal circumstance's so well, so they don't have to get in your face.

I don't know who you're talking about. You've just offloaded it. And mentally it's like therapy. It's like therapy.

Did you find the membership fee worthwhile?

The exchange rate when we came here was quite harsh for us. So we came with a certain amount of money, and, everything seemed so expensive here.

So when I first found out about the paid membership, I said to my husband, look, I'm going to do it. But I'll just do it for a little while until I'm I know other areas, and then I probably won't have to to spend that money. And it was a lot of money for us. And, once I paid the first part, I let it go.

And I enjoyed it. When it was time to pay for the next session I said let me just go a little bit longer and I'll do it. But it did, it did hurt because it was a fair amount of money. What I'd have noticed without a doubt is that when I think, okay, I'll just give it a break now, because of finances, the impact is huge because I don't do it myself, and I should be able to now. I know the areas. I've got enough friends that I could go and do it myself. And I don't. I don't hold myself accountable. And the payment is, is actually small. In relation to what you get out of it, that accountability, that fitness and mental wellbeing, and that confidence that I had with being part of a group that goes when you don't, when you don't do it, and that the payment and the structure of it is a gift. It's a gift and I would pay, I would pay 100 times over.

Have there been any standout moments for you?

Yeah. Hiking and, just to put a bit of background, is that, you know, I have always enjoyed exercise, but I haven't always had a lot of confidence. I can be a little bit nervous on a bike, and my perception is not always so great.

My eyesight is not great, and I'm terrified of heights, so, I was a bit anxious about some of those things and how they would play at in the bush. And there have been moments where where they've been a challenge and one that comes to mind is, is my fear of heights. And we were walking along and we had we had to climb over a rock.

And I looked at this and I watch people going up, and I was like, I don't think I can do this. This is just not possible. And then I said to them, look, I think I'm out, I have to find another way around. And, they said. Would you like to join us?

What do you say? They started to encourage me. They said, you can't go round, but why don't we try and see if we can help you? So what is making you nervous? So Roz, our hike leader, came back down and she said, okay, let me show you. Wait. Watch where I put my feet. So first of all, she showed it to me and then somebody else came, and said, take your pack off. I'll take your pack up for you. So just walk without a pack. And they gave me some strategies and they said, if you're halfway up and you don't like it, we'll get you back down. Let's give it a try. And the feeling of accomplishment that I had when I got to the top was like no other. And I can't say that I don't get anxious still, but they already gave me strategies that I can now use all the time.

What role did friendships play in your experience? I really do value some of those friendships. And bearing in mind that everybody there is so vastly different, you may not have necessarily chosen them as your original friends, but you've ended up with a bunch of women who've got something in common.

Somebody will come and say, there's a show at the theatre. Anyone feel like going? And then suddenly I've got some people to go to the theatre with. I mean, that gives you more commonality. We do like a Christmas lunch. Birthdays.

They come on the week of a walk. Somebody will bring cake. It's not even orchestrated. Somebody will just go. Oh, I have cupcakes. You, me. Bring some and share them. So those, social moments. It's given me so much joy. When I turned 50, two years ago, and we went on a hike, and I think, I don't know, about 20 ladies came and joined me for an afternoon tea at the end of the hat.

My girls came down and brought some fruit and coffees and teas, and we just sat in the sun. And I just thoroughly enjoyed what this exercise and what this, activity has added to the value that has added to my life. I looked around there and I thought, I think I've made it in life. Look at this. I mean, Australia, I've got all these women from all walks of life and they are here celebrating me.

It was a good moment.